What’s your idea of romance? Does it mean walking in nature with her (or him), having a good dinner, or perhaps…snuggling!? God forbid you’re still at that stage of cooties. Because we all have to man up one day and realize…we’ve got to settle down with that special someone.
I mean, who doesn’t enjoy the opposite gender? They are always amusing and leave you excited for more. The Prophet Muhammad (SWS) said there are four beneficial recreational activities: swimming, horseback riding, archery, and playing with one’s wife. He himself loved women. They always entice you.
That brings me to the next point. It may not be so comfortable, but it’s an issue to bring up. What defines love? Does it mean purity? Or does it mean lust? Sometimes they are polar opposites. But between a husband and wife, it’s just a matter of pure intimacy.
People fight that battle often. There may not be one man on this planet who doesn’t fight lust. There may be no woman who doesn’t fight lust either. It’s a device of the devil that tries to ensnare us into false dreams. It pulls us down into dark depths. It kills us slowly on the inside.
I could go on and on. But it may be that no one thing is inherently evil. Attraction is good with your spouse. In fact, it is just a branch of love. It is an offshoot of the pure love. The love you see in the sappy movies. But it’s better, because you experience it and the moments are more precious.
Every time you go out and look at the flock of doves together, you might feel that special spark with her. It’s the way she dresses, the way she looks at you, the small things. One doesn’t have to be fond of love songs or romantic movies to experience pure love. And that love includes care, respect, humbleness, and serenity.
Lust doesn’t.
Lust destroys homes, relationships, and souls. It brings down the good and raises the bad. It is one of the most evil of vices. But one doesn’t have to even look to the opposite gender to love. One can love his brother in humanity. And the love for your wife is just an extension of that, because you are opposite gender.
And it is a perpetuator of the cycle of life.
The offspring of love is also the offspring of life. And it is the most beautiful of offspring. To hold a baby in your arms is like holding a fragment of purity. You, in a way, created this little being, a being that will one day, God willing, be rushing with trillions of memories. Through life, you perpetuate it.
That’s why we need not look at the evils that lust brings in order to harbor true love. To be truly in love, it’s not about wealth. It’s not about looks. And before you try to tell me this, it’s not about personality, either. It’s about piety.
“A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, her character, her beauty, and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).”-Prophet Muhammad (SWS)
It’s also about keeping it simple. What was said before was wrong. It was used as an example. The love you see in movies is wrong. Because it’s crazy and a roller coaster ride, but where’s the serenity in that? Love isn’t supposed to include hate in it. It’s called a love relationship for a reason, not a love-hate relationship. And that’s why keeping it simple is where you will find peace.
“The best marriage is the one that is easiest.” –Prophet Muhammad (SWS)
So you shouldn’t push love in anything. Let it flow. Let Allah’s (God in Arabic) will take its course. And you’ll find that He is the most merciful of the merciful.
{And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30:21]
Tranquility and mercy is the dynamic duo of marriage. And that’s what you should find should you marry someone for piety. Don’t go for money, looks, or even personality…because all that should come with your pursuit of someone who is religious.
Look at the sunset. Look at the stars, the moon, the sky and revel in their beauty. And look to the East then the West…and know that “Both East and West belong to Allah, so wherever you turn, the Face of Allah is there. Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing.” (Qu’ran 2:115)
Know that He is the Intimate. He is the Irresistible. He is the Indivisible. He is Beautiful. And He is the Most Merciful.